Since mentioning I was adopting a baby, I’ve gotten a lot of questions and opinions from people about my choice to adopt. Most people have been pretty kind, but others have really surprised me with their thoughts on the subject. Like the person that told me that I probably won’t feel as guilty about having to leave my baby at home sometimes…because adopted kids don’t have the same bond with their parents. Or the person that told me, straight up, that I will regret not having my own baby. Both times, I did my best Tim Duncan impression: blank face with giant, confused eyes.
So I wanted give you the fast facts based on the questions I’ve been asked most. A little FAQ, if you will. These are all real questions people have asked. Keep in mind, every person’s choice and approach to adoption is different. But I’m hoping that these answers give you a better understanding about my choice and maybe help someone who is considering it not feel so alone in their decision.
1. Where will your baby come from? As my friend Jena likes to joke, I’m “keeping it local.”
2. Did you try international adoption? No. A lot of countries are making it more difficult to take part in their adoption programs. Five years ago, I might have. But after a lot of research, domestic seemed like the best choice for my family.
3. Are you adopting because you can’t have children? No. I’m adopting because that’s what I’ve always wanted to do. With my endometriosis, maybe I can have kids. Maybe I can’t. But for as long as I can remember, it’s how I wanted to start a family.
4. Is your husband cool with adopting? YES. More than cool. I think he’s more excited than me!
5. Are you adopting because you don’t want to gain weight? Um, no. This didn’t even cross my mind. But now that you mention it, not having to lose the baby weight is an added bonus.
6. Don’t you want to feel what it’s like to be pregnant? Not really. I’ve heard it’s a beautiful thing and so many people I know loved the experience. But I’ve never wanted to be pregnant. I feel no shame or guilt in that.
7. Aren’t you scared of how your kid will turn out? Just as scared as someone giving birth, I’d imagine.
8. Did you choose a girl or boy? That wasn’t an option.
9. But you and your husband are so cute together. Why not make a cute baby together? Thanks. But I don’t really care if our baby looks like us. But I can promise you this, he/she will be cute as hell.
10. So when is the baby coming? I have no idea! It could happen tomorrow. It could happen next year. Yes, I’m ok with waiting. It makes planning things a little hard sometimes. But I actually feel pretty chill about the whole thing. When my baby is ready to come hang, we’ll be waiting.
Got any other questions? I’ll take them!
And please share this post with someone who might need it or is considering adoption themselves.